The Social Worker's Scarf

I thought I'd had the unexpected pleasure of being chatted up today. Before I stank to high heaven of dry-fried herring. On reflection, he could just have been genuinely impressed by my scarf. He was very attractive, with a cool hat and a cool baby and a soft American accent. This is what made me mistake his interest in my non-descript, hand-woven scarf for flirtation, he couldn't actually love my scarf could he? I mean, its a nice scarf. I bought it in an emergency when we had 2 cm of snow this year and I wasn't equipped for it. It does the job. Its just a bit 'Social Worker'. A bit 'Sensible Shoes'. A bit 'Earnest and Worthy'. I was a bit taken aback that someone so hip would be so impressed with it. Perhaps he thought I was Miss Marple, or thinks that this is how we are in England, always commenting on one another's scarves. "My, what a nice scarf Ms Jones!", "Why thank you Mr Smith". But it wasn't the Home Counties circa 1930, nobody was wearing carnations in their lapels. So, I assumed I was being chatted up, by a sexy bloke with a cute baby. So I can't really account for what happened next.

"Oh, thanks" I said, "I call it my Social Worker Scarf". I think I said it wittily. Its not that I have anything against Social workers. He clearly didn't get the humour and laughed a bit unconvincingly and asked "why?", I thought this gave him away. "Well, you'd have to see it with the beads". He started on about "what does a Social Worker's scarf look like?", and the whole joke began to fall apart. I was blinking anyway because I have been persevering with Dostoevsky's The Idiot at night under an eco-bulb. I had wanted to mention the baby, which seemed only polite. I had intended to tell him "what a beautiful baby Mr American!" but it would have been a lie, because I couldn't actually see it. I had thought I was going blind, but Graham says it's because the print is so small. It is too, I had wondered why it had taken me so long to read it. Apart from the fact that I loathe it. The only thing I do enjoy is the humour, and I can admit the genius of his characterisation. I think, for all my misgivings about Dostoevsky, he would have understood about my Social Worker Scarf. He might also have understood about the awkward exchange at the coffee counter with the softly spoken American.

I've not heard that Dostoevsky was much of a looker. Its hard to tell with all that facial hair. The man who pretended to love my Social Worker Scarf had a bit of that too, but he didn't get the joke, even when I described the beads. This is why a good-looking man, with or without facial hair, however good-looking and however cool his hat, and however cool his baby isn't always enough. Its the humour that matters. My husband gets it.